Why is D the letter of the day? Because I’m a total:
dingbat
dillweed
dinglehopper
doofus
dork
dweeb
Do you notice anything about those words? Like maybe the fact that they all resemble a description of someone who did something DUMB, perhaps? Well then they all would describe me today.
It all started at lunch when I decided to go heat up my lunch in the cafeteria at work. I put my food in the microwave and then waited. As I waited I realized I hadn’t brought my cup of water downstairs with me for lunch. Fortunately, I thought, okay well I’m too lazy to go back upstairs so I’ll just et a fountain drink from the cafeteria. When I entered the food area there was a ginormous line formed for the register, which I was not about to wait on. So I decided I would just go to the vending machine to get a beverage. I sized up the vending machine deciding what I wanted. Sierra Mist, yes that would be my beverage of choice. Okay, It would be $1.25. Insert dollar bill…insert 25 cents (why the hell isn’t there a “cents” sign on the computer keyboard?) in the slot. Ok, what number is the Sierra Mist? Oh, that’s easy, there are three…count them THREE rows that I could choose from and their letter/number combos were D7, D8 & D9. I pushed the D and then helplessly watched as my finger then, in the blink of an eye, pushed the 4 button…NO NO NO NO..I didn’t want that!!! REDO!!! I want a redo please!!! Clunkity thunk thunk thunk!!! The bottle from row D4 fell to the vending machine tray at the bottom of the machine. What? What’s that you ask? What was in row D4? Well, if I were 12 I would’ve been in heaven and then I would’ve had to endlessly explain to my mom that “I made an honest mistake, I really did mean to get the soda with the lesser sugar content, no really mom, I swear I did, it just happened by accident, but can I have this anyway?”!!! Anyway, what did I wind up having to bring to the lunch table with all my coworkers sitting there examining my choice of beverage? A friggin Hawaiian Punch. For goodness sake…honestly? Why? Something else! Anything else! Bleeeech!!! And also ICK!!! In the day I would’ve loved that mistake…today? Not so much!!! But I drank it and then I proceeded to go for a speed walk around the outside of our company complex FOUR TIMES!!! Each time around is about a 1/2 mile or so!!!! And with all that sugar? I could’ve gone another 40 laps!!!
So what about you? Have you ever gone to the vending machine and pressed the buttons and not gotten what you expected? I’ve had to beat up the vending machine before because the package of snacks got stuck by the last millimeter of package between the spiral and the ledge!!! Clearly I won!!! No vending machine would get the best of me…until today!!!
