I have toyed with the right words to tell this story for just over a week now almost two weeks now almost three weeks now. I’m going to take a stab and hope that you truly understand the magnitude of this experience by the time I have finished giving you my little synopsis.

About a year ago my Godmother handed over two gift certificates to hubbie and me. Each one was given to her as a gift during Christmas time by two of her good friends during the 2005 and 2006 season. Each one was for $100. Each one was to enjoy a dining experience at the restaurant each specified. One was for La Panettiere and one was for Blue Hill at Stone Barns. While my Godmother truly does enjoy a fine dining experience and does appreciate the gift her friends so thoughtfully give her knowing that she does enjoy dining at fine restaurants, she has a hard time using these gift certificates her friends pass along to her. The reason being is she is not about to go out to dinner by herself. Half the fun of going out to dinner is enjoying the experience with others and $100 at either one of these restaurants is, shall we say, not really going to help the person who joins her for the experience. And that being said, asking someone to join her and expecting that person to pay while she uses a gift certificate is just not very fair at all. So she passed them along to hubbie and me. Lucky us! But read on!

The gift certificate for Blue Hill was given to her in the 2005 season and it said on the bottom of the certificate that it was to be used within one year of issue date. Now being that this was one year ago she gave these gift certificates to us, that one year time period window had long and closed, but hey it was worth a try to see if they would still honor it. We had just had Li’l Foot and we couldn’t find a good time to go out for a nice dinner so we held off, put the gift certificates on the shelf for safe keeping, and they just so happened to surface a few weeks ago when we ditched our old Ikea bookcase and bought two pretty new ones (remind me to take a picture of them so I can show you the pretty). I said to hubbie, “I think we could really use a little night out for ourselves, we’ll get someone to watch LF and have a nice little date for ourselves!” Hubbie agreed and I called both restaurants.

I first called La Panettiere only because it did not have any type of “use by” stipulation. However, when I called I got the answering machine that said they would be on vacation until March 11th and to call back then. Okay, fine, with our choice now narrowed down I called Blue Hill and the poor guy who answered the phone,
I gave him a whole litany about how “I received a gift certificate in 2005 (lie) and then moved (lie) and then had a baby (TRUTH) and the gift certificate just resurfaced (lie) and it’s passed its “use by” date (SO TOTALLY TRUE), can I still use it?”, whereas I could’ve just said something more pointed and direct, like “I have this gift certificate that is passed its “use by” date, can I still use it?” I didn’t say that. I totally gave him the litany. Poor guy!!! He was all willing to let us use it and didn’t give me any problem. I totally could foresee having a problem, but I didn’t. So I made a reservation. For two. On March 9th. At 5:30. And grandma was going to be watching LF for us.

And then! Then? Then I happened to be on the phone with our friends. They have three children of their own and one thing led to another and I happened to mention our plans and knew they appreciated some good food just as much as us so I invited them to join us. They would let us know and in the meantime I told them the website to look up the restaurant so they could see what kind of menu they had. Later that week I received an email from them asking about the website name again because all that came up when they typed it in (typed it in wrong) was this Ethiopian restaurant. I laughed and then responded by clarifying the web address and saying, but I wonder what an Ethiopian restaurant serves if all we ever see or hear about are those Ethiopian kids on tv that are starving and emaciated. One would wonder what they would serve, no? Anyhoo, I was so excited when they confirmed with us they had secured a sitter and would be going out with us (and were elated that the restaurant would not in fact be an Ethiopian restaurant). We hadn’t enjoyed a nice dinner out with them since hubbie and I got engaged in 2001 when we went to Le Chateau (another one of those eat-there-every-once-in-a-blue-moon kind of places).

I called the restaurant procrastinated calling the restaurant because procrastination is my M/O these days for some reason and then I wound up not having to call because the restaurant called me to confirm our reservation so at that time I asked them to make the reservation for four people instead of two.

The day drew nearer and my mom was not feeling well all that week, so I relieved her of her duties and called upon Pocklock and her EHH to pinch hit for grandma in LF watching duties. On such short notice, I can’t believe they were able to, yet so thankful they could.

And then dun dun dun…it was THE DAY. March 9th. We fluttered around most of the day. Fortunately this was one of the first few days that LF was shaking those evil ear infections and the effects of the antibiotics so she was feeling better. And then she ate a lady bug…YUM! And then it was time to get ready to go out. Pocklock and EHH were to arrive around 4/4:30 and our friends S&D were to arrive somewhere around 4:45. I made my way upstairs around 3:45 to get showered and ready also bathing LF in the process. And then my closet and I fought!!! HARD!!! And it won!!! But I digress…hubbie came up around 4:15 and threw on a pair of cargo khaki pants and a kind of athletic type blue short sleeve shirt. HELLO!?!?!? Did he not get the memo we were going out to a fancy restaurant. When I turned around and saw what he was wearing and what I was wearing (more fancy than what he was wearing), I nearly cried, so I just tried to gently ask him to change instead. Do you know how a volcano erupts…yeah well, that would be hubbie when I gently nudged him. It was not pretty. But I won. He changed after I convinced him that S&D were not going to wearing CARGO khakis and a sporty t-shirt. I also changed. We met in the middle. I can’t even talk about my outfit though because I was so less than thrilled and upset about it.

Please keep in mind as you read this that we. had. not. eaten. all. day.  We were starving.  At around 2 or so we got seriously hungry and I munched on a polly-o string cheese just to tide myself over until dinner.

So we get to the restaurant and are seated right away. The restaurant was built inside what used to be the dairy barn, refurbished of course.  We immediately notice, (well we being Sue and I) that the booth that we were seated in was odd.  The bench seat was way longer than the table so there was a good distance between the table and the wall.  About 2, if not 3 feet of space between the table and the wall, but the benches came a lot closer to the wall.  It was odd, but it allowed me a place to put my stuff, so whatever.  We were first handed the wine menu.  Or I should say D was was handed the wine menu.  I don’t know how they knew that he was the most wine savvy at the table.  He picked a wine for us and then we were given our menus.  I don’t even recall what was on the menu.  We were immediately met with the option of having the “Farmer’s Feast”.  It would entail a 7 course meal and was basically up to the discretion of the chef what to cook for us.  We are not entirely sure which course was which and where one course ended and another started.

They started bringing some small stuff out like a tiny beet burger (about the size of a quarter and on an actual quarter sized bun.  It was very good.  I took a bite of half the burger and was unaware that I was being watched by hubbie and D.  Once I took the first small bite (imagine biting a quarter in half) D said, “did you really need to take this burger in two bites?” Now anyone who knows me, knows that hubbie spares no opportunity to make fun of my mouth and my teeth and I totally could’ve eaten the whole beet burger in one foul swoop, but chose not to, mostly because I was hungry and was eating fancy food and was savoring the moment.  So was this the first course.  Can something the size of a quarter actually be considered an actual “course”?

The next thing they brought out was a slice of bracciole (sp?).  It was one slice of prosciutto type meat…ONE SLICE.  It was yummy and all but can this also be considered a course or is it just an extension of the beet burger course.

The next thing we were presented with was bread with an assortment of accoutrements including carrot salt, herbed salt, ricotta spread and fresh butter.  All were so yummy.  I know this was not a course, so there’s not question on that one.
By this time we’d consumed the bottle of wine and D ordered another one, the same kind.  And since we had a bottle of wine in us, we were good to go.

Next they brought out a beet salad with baby spinach with was put on a piece of slate.  Sometimes presentation is everything.  After having just one bite of his salad, D says, “Is it inappropriate to lick a rock!” At which point we all burst out hysterical laughing and I warn him, I have a blog and I’m not afraid to use it!!!  So be careful what you say!!!  That beet salad was so indescribably yummy.

The next “course” (we think) was a Panko crusted deep fried soft boiled egg (that link is not for the restaurant website, just a link I found to one to show you what it was like).  Now, when this arrived at the table I nearly salivated on the table.  It looked and smelled so good.  And you know what?  It WAS so GOOD!!!  I highly recommend this.

The next course was Gnocchi with beluga lentils.  Again…do I need to tell you how yummy this was or are you getting the idea that everything was delicious?  I think the thing that really set apart this food was that everything tasted so fresh.  Everything WAS so fresh!!!

Intermission for a bathroom break?  At this point D had to go to the bathroom, he went, came back and then hubbie went.  S asked me if I needed to go and I said, “eh, I can wait until the next course.”  She agreed and then once hubbie got back she decided she really needed to go so I agreed to go anyway.  The guys had to get up to let us out of the booth.  They stood up, we scooted out and as we did we noticed two of the servers making a round with two plates in there hands.  I stood to the side to let them go by and the guy motioned for me to go ahead.  So I did, following behind S.  The guys filed back into their seats.  About five steps away I turned around to see where the two servers were putting food down (fearing that it would be at our table), instead I noticed they were headed back to the kitchen.  They had come out to serve our next course but since they noticed we had left the table they totally circled back to the kitchen to hold our next course until we returned to the bathroom.  How freaking cool is that?

And it was about here that we ordered another bottle of wine, something different.  For those keeping score this is bottle #3!

The course we had just turned our backs on, to go to the bathroom was a Sea Bass dish.  And it is at this point that I will explain to you that this restaurant is an art.  It truly is amazing.  When the two serves would come to serve our table it was like watching synchronized swimming.  They would keep their heads facing forward but their eyes would watch for cues form the other server to make sure they were putting our plates down in a synchronized manor and laying the plates on the table at the exact same time.  And when they would clear our plates it was the same situation.  Now, back to the sea bass.  Hubbie?  He does. not. do. fish.  He has had fish once on a dare from my brother at a sushi restaurant, ONCE…in the entire time we’ve been together.  That’s it.  Hubbie?  LOVED. THIS. SEA. BASS.  I think it was poached and it had a sort of sauce to it, but I do not know exactly how it was cooked, otherwise I would cook it every night just to get hubbie to eat fish, so. that. I. can. eat. fish.

And then we thought it was about time they brought out some of the venison that was on the menu.  But alas, no venison.  Instead? Pork!  Prepared somehow and it was yummy and everything but we were hoping for meat of the red variety.  It really was our fault for not specifying a the start of the evening that we expected venison, but oh well.

And then we were thinking, well, maybe that wasn’t the main course, maybe we could still get some venison int he next course.  But no…it was dessert time.  We were presented with an apple turreine with molasses ice cream.  And while, okay it was ok, we were really really hoping for a “chocolate exclamation point” to really just put the appropriate punctuation on our totally delicious meal.  Ya know what I mean?  It just needed that final push of “WOW!”

It was right about here that we were convinced the servers had our table bugged.  When our server returned to our table to clear the un-exclamation point dessert plates, she said something about our not being satisfied with dessert and then said something about chocolate.  And I piped up and said, “yeah we were really kind of hoping for something for dessert that was more along the lines of chocolate” as a way of really just rounding out the meal, she was going to take care of it.  I also made sure it was not going to be at any additional cost…heehee…we were so entitled to a chocolate exclamation point.  Hubbie didn’t want anything else, but S&D and I were not about to pass up the chocolatey goodness.  We were presented with 3 different types of chocolate desserts and each was better than the next, mine being my favorite.  It was a chocolate cake with a soft center and OMG it was delicious.  By the end of the chocolate course we were stuffed. DONE! Ding…check please!!!

And then the check came.  Oh my, did the check ever come.  D was the first recipient of the check and by the way his eyes bulged out of his head, I knew it was not going to be good news.  Let’s just say that the $100 gift certificate was not going to begin to make a dent in the damages!!!  What’s that you say?  How much was the bill?  Oh, that’s a good question.  How does seven hundred and twenty dollars grab ya?  I’ll wait while you pull your chins up off the floor, mine is still on the floor and that was almost 3 weeks ago.  When all was said and done the final tally was nine hundred dollars with the tip included.  Like I said this is something you do once in a lifetime.  ONCE!  Did I mention each bottle was $85/$85/$75.  YIKES!  Well, I have no explanation except to say you only do this kind of thing once.  Li’l Foot may not have diapers for the rest of the year and she may not have anything to eat besides Spam but damn we had a delicious $450 dinner.

By the time we left it was already 9:30.  FOUR HOURS we were at the restaurant.  Crazy how you can spend that much time in a restaurant.  The whole thing was craaaaazeeeee!!!   As we were leaving we were walking out behind another group and it was two guys.  Hubbie was singing as we walked down the path.  Hubbie was singing this.  The two guys ahead of us turned around thinking that we were the rest of their party and the one guy said to Sean, “What’s goin’ on mates?” thinking that we were their friends.  As we laughed about that incident with them, they conversed and about where they would go to after party.  Would they go back to one or the others place.  And at one point the one guys asked the in other in only a snobby Westhester, NY person might, “Shall me take the Bentlaaay or the Dennaaaahlaaay!!! (In order to really say those words properly with pronunciation in the correct places, you need to raise your nose up in the air and look down it.)  It was all we could do to keep ourselves together.  Well sure enough the parking attendant comes around the corner with their Bentley and hubbie in his finest ghetto accent says, “Yo, they pimped my Honda Pilot, yo!!!” and I made the motion of walking over to their car and pulling the door handle.  We all had a good laugh.

After getting in our very much un-pimped Honda Pilot, we ripped into those yuppity Westchester folk!!!  Who says Bentley and Denali like that?  Seriously?  Get a grip!!!  Perhaps the best part of it is that S didn’t exactly know what a Denali was so therefor did not know that it was just a GMC truck that sounded more fancy than it actually was!!!

And so the moral of this story? Well, I’m not exactly sure.  Good times with good friends can sometimes cost a lot of money but be well worth the memories if there’s good food and good wine!!!