Let’s just say they were scared of me. Or scared of hubbie all dressed up in his parking authority uniform and whatnot. Or they just died from the cutenes that was Li’l Foot and just had to let us go. Either way. I’m free. No fine paid. And it was relatively painless, relatively speaking of course, as relatively speaking as one can get who brings a 10 month old into a very “echo-ee” mock court room! Once Li’l Foot discovered her echo in the room, it was down hill from there. She and I got kicked out of the room until my name was called. We had to stand in the vestibule where all the people were paying their designated fines. And…holy crap some of these fines for speeding…hoooooweeeee…stiff!!! Sheesh!!! Once guy had to pay over $500 with all the fines and court fees and stuff.
So I’ll start from the beginning. I get there, find the last parking spot on. the. street. and walk to the court house hole in the wall! I give the police office behind the desk my name, he finds me in his papers and checks me off. We went in the room and it. was. packed. Not a seat to be had in the entire room. There must’ve been about 100 people in the room. And it wasn’t even a courthouse, it was a civic building for the town and this room was like the basement of the building complete with brick columns. painted. brick. columns. So weird. That’s what we get for living in the burbs I guess. So aaaaanyway…we stand, and I’m holding Li’l Foot because OMG…the moment she sees me at night, she’ll have nothing to do with hubbie, unless absolutely necessary…I. Am. Loved. After about point 2 seconds of standing this guy catches my eye in the front row and motions that he’ll get up and let me sit if I’d like. So, hey, I’m not shy, he’s being nice? Why not! So the guy next to him gets up too and hubbie also sits. See? People aren’t rude everywhere in NY…usually! We sit and wait, and wait and more people trickle in the room…and then more and more and more!!! Dear God, doesn’t anyone abide by the law anymore? So we sat there for a while. The judge finally arrived on the scene. And he started taking cases. One by one…he widdled them away. He slammed $100 fines this way and that way and the town got richer and richer. Isn’t it the most amazing thing. Where does that money go? Just wondering.
Li’l Foot was generally good for the most part. She played with my cell phone flipping the top up and down up and down and then she got bored of that she threw it on the ground. So I gave her my company ID in its retractable sleeve to play with. When she got bored of that I held the company ID part and gave her the clicp on the other side of the tether to play with. It’s one of those things that it clips to my belt loop so it is always on me when I need it to get in the building. Li’l Foot loved that she could pull my ID and then let it go and it would snap back to my hand. It was a good game for point 2 seconds. So then I dug around for various things she could play with…the nasal spray bottle (wound up on the floor after point 1 second)…my cosmetic case…etc. And then she discovered her echo in the room and there was no stopping her. She just jabbered on and on and finally the court secretary got up from her chair and asked if I could please go out in the vestibule. I did. And then stood there of course because why on earth would they have chairs in the vestibule. And let me tell ya…my kid is not light!!! But they did have a water cooler, so i could occupy her with a cup full of water which mostly wound up down the front of her shirt, but whatever.
I probably wound up standing there for a good 15 minutes or so. I could see hubbie sitting in the front row and people came and went from the room. People oggled at Li’l Foot and her cuteness…what’s not to love. And then the funniest thing happened. I was standing there and then these two people walked out of the room into the vestibule and lo and behold it was my high school science teacher, Mrs. Green. We talked for a bit and she ooooed and ahhhhhed over Li’l Foot. I hadn’t remembered her name at that precise moment and forgot to look her up in the yearbook when I got home and even right now, I’m pretty sure it was Mrs. Green, but I’m not 100%….but almost 100%. It was fun seeing her though.
A short time later, the court police officer came out, and at that point the room had emptied about 3/4 of the way through the people who had started there. And still they hadn’t called my name. So I said to him…”so I guess all the MTA tickets go last, is that the deal?” And he actually said, “I’m working on that right now, hold on”, and disappered behind the door to where the lady was collecting the fines and stuff. He emerged moments later with papers in his hand. He walked over to where I was standing by the water cooler and said, “ok, sign here and you can leave”. Wha? Ummm…okay!!! He said, “it’s basically a failure to prosecute, no fine, you’re free to go”! Oh yeah baby…sweet!!! See it always pays to fight a ticket. And it always pays to bring your baby along with you so they’ll oh, I don’t know…want to move you through faster. So, what, you may be asking yourself is a failure to prosecute and why was I so fortunate? Well apprently when hubbie came out of the room, he said the judge had left the room about 5 minutes prior to then and he said he couldn’t do anything else until the prosecutor arrived. I can tell you, the MTA cop was not on site at the court room last night. They wouldn’t have had a leg to stand on. And we had so much evidence stacked up against them, they would’ve had to throw it out.
Hubbie had it all mapped out of what we were gonna say, which HELLO…I’ve formulated this whole thing in my mind for the past month and a half…I wasn’t worried. Bless his heart, he was just as prepared for this as I was…and then? We didn’t even have to use any of it, which was kind of disappointing, but hey I can’t argue with getting off without so much as a slap on the wrist. Rest assured I will. not. park. in. this. one. spot. ever. again. Promise!!!
And we were home by 7:45. Court started at 6, so it took a bit of time, but we were home before 8 and that’s a plus in my book…so yay!!!
P.S. They were totally scared of us and were melted away by Li’l Foot’s cuteness!!! That’s how we got out without paying. And so the moral of the story is? Bring a baby to court with you…preferably a baby that is fussy to go home and eat, have a bath and go to bed…even if it’s not your kid…borrow one from your sibling or your friend…it’s well worth it. I have no doubt I’d still be sitting there if it weren’t for Li’l Foot.
P.P.S. Did I mention that speeding ticket that I got from another MTA cop on Halloween morning? Oh yes, yes I did, here! So, we’re not done with Li’l Foot and court rooms yet…she’s still got an appearance to make…in the same court!!! Oh and hubbie also got a speeding ticket a couple months back that he’ll be renting Li’l Foot out for that one. God..you’d think we made a habit of this ticket stuff…we really don’t…I promise!!!!
